HeathCo. Presents

Due to popular demand, I have a few more items standalone items that combined create more fine products for the HeathCo label.

 MethenHagen (Premium Brand) or Meth Seal (Economy)
1. Crystal Meth









2. Smokeless Tobacco

HeathCo is proud to unveil its "Foreman's Friend" line of smokeless tobacco.
Need a worker to drywall for 34 hours straight? Need a worker to see in the dark? Pick up a roll of Methenhagen or for the cost conscious we have Meth Seal. Full sized flavor at 1/2 the price.

Due to recent "legal issues" we have to withdraw our second annual "Meth the Halls" Christmas sweepstakes. Apparently a Christmas Star made of pure crystal meth is not viable "legal" prize.


HeathCo. Lawn Darts.
1. Lawn Darts

2. Rockets

With Heathco's strong ties with Hamas and radical Islam we have begun to offer a new product for the suburban home. Let your kids play with something amazing. HeathCo brand lawn darts.

As per government guidelines all boxes will clearly be marked with the following.

Consumer: Remember that warnings are just suggested guidelines and not the law.. So please look for HeathCo. brand for all of your product needs.  Like Yup I think its butter? or the Mr. Potato do-it-yourself Nosejob Kit...pat pend.

If you have a better idea Comment. Heathco. representative are standing by.

HeathCo. Customer Service